


No Homo With No Value

by jeongcheolies



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Angst, Fluff, I suck at tags, M/M, Smut, Soonhoon - Freeform, Sort of? - Freeform, enjoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 10:44:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7311886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeongcheolies/pseuds/jeongcheolies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knows Jihoon doesn’t mean it. You can not tell Soonyoung that if you make out with someone of the same sex time after time, the “no homo” is still valid.</p>
<p>So when Jihoon told him, for umpteenth time, “No homo, though”, Soonyoung knew it was complete and utter bullshit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Homo With No Value

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for any mistakes!! also i do not own the members or the band and bla bla all that bs ok leggo pls enjoy your readings! :)))))

They have been doing this for weeks now. It has become part of their routine, to get rid of “hormonal teenage frustrations”, though both boys are fully aware of the fact that they’re adults.

After all the other boys would go back to the dorms, exhausted from an entire day of practice and schedules, Jihoon and Soonyoung would stay behind a little more. It had always been that way. Jihoon would work on new songs, writing lyrics if he felt particularly inspired, and Soonyoung would try to come up with new moves for the choreography and spend hours perfecting them. 

That’s how it went for a while, both of them having their personal routines. However, it changed when one night, Soonyoung had been stuck on a choreography and had asked Jihoon to help him out. Somewhere in between the exhaustion, dance moves and hot air, Soonyoung had kissed Jihoon. And Jihoon had kissed him back.

Neither of them remember exactly how it had happened, or what had happened afterwards, all they know is that Jihoon had avoided Soonyoung for an entire week..

After those seven days of torture, Soonyoung had barged into Jihoon’s recording studio and locked the door so he couldn’t get out. He had forced Jihoon to talk to him, and so he did. By the end of the night they had talked it out and had mutually come to the conclusion it had been a mistake.

The day after that, they were giving each other handjobs at 2AM. 

That’s when the second “no homo” card was pulled out by a certain Lee Jihoon. It was also the night they decided that being in their teens was difficult, and that the lack of sexual contact was driving them insane, so that they might as well just “help each other a hand” more often. Still, no homo of course.

What started off as simple handjobs and sloppy tongues colliding on monday, ended up in Soonyoung forcefully thrusting into Jihoon by friday. Soon enough it became part of their routine, something that would always happen right after they were done with their personal work. It was quick, it was efficient, and it was something that would stay between the two of them. Their secret. 

 

Soonyoung didn’t like keeping secrets from the other members, mainly because he sucks at actually keeping them. There are two things the great Kwon Soonyoung just can’t really manage; lying, and keeping secrets. He didn’t get the Kwon-Spo title for nothing. However, Jihoon’s glare was enough to keep his mouth shut at all times.

 

There is one big difference between Soonyoung and Jihoon; where the choreographer is very well aware of his feelings for the producer, the producer himself just can't wrap his mind around the fact that he might indeed have feelings for the choreographer, too.

This doesn’t stop Jihoon from letting Soonyoung fuck him into a couch, though.

 

“Ah- Fuck!” Jihoon screams out as Soonyoung hits his prostate three times in a row, a new record for him.

Soonyoung’s breath is coming out in heavy pants, the occasional high-pitched moan slipping through his lips unwillingly. “Jihoon, fuck I-”

Soonyoung’s words are cut off by a loud moan from Jihoon, the younger’s back arching off the couch so that their bodies are pressed even closer together. Jihoon’s head rolls back, one of his hands coming up to grab the left side of the couch behind him, the other on Soonyoung’s right shoulder.

Soonyoung studies Jihoon’s face, the way his eyes are clenched shut, the way his cheeks are flushed red and his mouth is opened in an O shape. The sight before him nearly makes Soonyoung come, but he knows he can’t afford to come so soon, because even though they do this nearly every single night now, Soonyoung never wants it to end.

 

You can tell Soonyoung he doesn’t know a lot of things about life, and he will probably agree. He has always been stronger physically than mentally anyways, but if there’s one thing Soonyoung is an expert in, it’s knowing Jihoon’s body better than Jihoon does himself. 

He knows exactly what to do to drive Jihoon’s body to the edge, knows exactly what facial expression Jihoon makes when he’s about to come. He knows that as soon as Jihoon’s dick is touched whilst Soonyoung continues ramming into him, a long string of breathy moans follow. 

Yet every time they fuck, it feels new and exciting. 

 

Soonyoung feels a hand on his neck and suddenly he’s pulled back down to meet the lips of a thirsty Jihoon. Almost immediately after their lips meet, tongues collide, making the kiss very sloppy and wet. They part every now and then to let moans hit the air, before reconnecting their lips in a game of lust again. Soonyoung moves his lips from Jihoon’s to kiss his cheek, then proceeds to leave kisses all the way from his ear down to his chin, following the sharp jawline, which was obviously only created by the gods for Soonyoung’s lips to connect to it.

“Soonyoung, I’m close,” Jihoon whines as Soonyoung’s lips work down his neck, making sure to leave marks in places not visible to anyone who would pay attention.

“Me too,” Soonyoung mumbles against the skin of his collarbone. He always waits until he hears those words from Jihoon before he let’s himself admit to it too. He’s pretty sure he could come at Jihoon’s command, considering he’s so far up his ass, literally and metaphorically.

The frequency of Jihoon’s moans increase and Soonyoung starts to see everything around him in a haze. He throws his head back for a split second before letting it land on Jihoon’s naked chest, his breathing heavy as he notices the all too familiar feeling in his lower stomach, desperate for release. He tries to keep a rhythm, but fails miserably as his thrusts keep going out of beat thanks to the upcoming orgasm. 

Soonyoung’s hand moves down to grab Jihoon’s dick, probably not the best decision since now he only has one pillar left to support his weight. The pleasure is making his body weaken, but nonetheless he still continues stroking Jihoon, hoping that this time maybe, Jihoon will come before he does.

But of course, that doesn’t happen. It never happens. 

Soonyoung’s vision goes white for a moment, his eyes rolling back slightly as he comes inside Jihoon with a gasp followed by a loud moan. 

The one arm holding his body up gives in, and he lands on Jihoon’s chest with a thud, hoping it doesn’t keep the smaller boy from orgasming. Apparently it doesn’t, because right as he lifts his head up to look at Jihoon, he sees the younger’s head rolling back and his mouth letting Soonyoung’s name slip through in an incredibly high pitched moan, white strings of come shooting out to land on both of their chests. 

Soonyoung loves that. No matter how many times Jihoon will act cold around him afterwards, or tell him it’s just to let out his frustrations, he never fails to moan Soonyoung’s name as he comes. 

And yes, Soonyoung keeps track of that.

 

The thick air around them after sex is always the worst. They clean themselves and the studio up in silence, tension waiting to be cut by a knife, but neither of them ever dare to pull out a knife in a fragile situation like this. It’s easy to miss the tension and accidentally cut the other in the process.

So the tension always remains in the air, the thick cord of awkwardness staying between them until it momentarily weakens when they fuck again.

Soonyoung hates that. He hates that no matter how many times Jihoon will scream his name in ecstasy and pleasure, he will always go back to acting like they just finished a professional business meeting.

Except they didn’t. They fucked, and Soonyoung wants Jihoon to wrap his mind around that for once. The “no homo” had lost it’s value right after Jihoon kissed him back that very first time, and it sure as hell ain’t gaining it’s value back. 

So Soonyoung decides to take a risk. He needs this to end in one way or another. 

“Jihoon…”

Jihoon looks over quickly, shooting him a glare. “What?”

“Jihoon I- We need to talk, like right now, about-”

“No we don’t,” Jihoon cuts him off, continuing to shoot daggers Soonyoung’s way with his eyes, “We don’t have to talk about anything.”

“Jihoon-”

“Can you stop saying my fucking name? Actually no, just stop talking all together,” he snaps, slipping into his boxers and jeans.

Soonyoung finally dares to pull out a metaphorical knife.

“I can’t do this anymore!” Soonyoung yells, his cheerful self out of the window, dangling on a cord held by Jihoon himself. He wants Jihoon to pull it back up, for him to be completely happy again for the first time in ages, but he knows the younger lacks the strength to do that right now.

“We can’t do this- I- What the fuck are we doing.” He mumbles the last part to himself, his vision starting to get blurry.

For once, Jihoon doesn’t immediately snap back. He stays silent, looking at Soonyoung with wide eyes. Whatever he expected to come out of his mouth, it wasn’t that. 

Truth be told, Jihoon doesn’t want what they have to stop. He’s never realised that until now, Soonyoung’s desperate words triggering something unknown within him.

“Jihoon- fuck, I said your name again- shit, I’m sorry, but fuck, what the fuck even are we? Business partners? Colleagues?! What the hell do you see us as, because it sure seems like I see you as something else, and we need to be on the same page,” Soonyoung rubs his eyes, wanting the tears to disappear. He didn't want to let out his crybaby self in front of Jihoon, but it was inevitable. 

He clears his throat, trying to come off stronger. “So tell me Jihoon, what the fuck are we doing in your eyes?”

Jihoon swallows, trying really hard to keep his own eyes from filling with the salty water. “I- We’re friends, right? We can’t be anything else.”

Soonyoung huffs. “Right. Friends. Friends always end up fucking each other, don’t they? Wow, we’re such good friends, Jihoon!”

Jihoon stays silent for another moment. Deep inside he knows this is not what friends do, but he still doesn’t have it in him to admit to that. He wants to believe there are no feelings involved, that this is all just platonic fucking, but that’s a lie and they both know it.

“What do you want me to say, Soonyoung?”

“I want you to stop being such a coward and tell me what you’re feeling, because fuck, I fucking love you-” Soonyoung’s nearly chokes on his own words as he immediately realises what he just said. His eyes start to widen. Fuck, that wasn’t supposed to slip out. Especially not in a critical situation like right now. 

Jihoon’s eyes widen even more and he looks at the ground, a blush rising to his cheeks, but no sign of happiness on his face. He looks back up again, his eyes meeting Soonyoung’s. He looks as shocked as Jihoon feels. 

“Y- You what?” Jihoon whispers, disbelief laced in with the mix of other emotions. Soonyoung shakes his head frantically, a fresh tear running down his cheek.

“I- I didn’t mean-” Soonyoung takes a breath, “Actually, no, I meant exactly what I said.” 

Soonyoung forcefully wipes some of his own tears away, stepping forwards. 

“I, Kwon Soonyoung, leader of SEVENTEEN’s performance unit, love Lee Jihoon. And I love him so fucking much it hurts. It hurts physically and mentally, and I’m sick of it, I wish it would go away, but guess what? I don’t think it’s gonna do that any time soon.

“I think love is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, because first of all, I never expected to fall in love with a guy. A man and a woman are ‘supposed’ to fall in love, right? You see it all around you, you hear all about it. No one ever prepared me for the fact that I might fall in love with a guy, let alone someone in the same group as me. When I kissed you for the first time a few weeks ago, I didn’t know what had washed over me. However, as soon as you started to kiss me back, I realized how fucking amazing your lips felt on mine. It was as if they were designed exclusively for me, and though I was in a mental state of panic, I wanted more. And you gave me more.

“But now we’re now, and it’s not enough. The thing we have going, it feels like every time we do this, a tiny part of my heart cracks off and falls into your hands. 

“I’m scared, Jihoon, and I know you are, too. We’re idols, and we’re clearly not the straightest of the bunch. On top of that, South-Korea isn’t exactly open-minded when it comes down to love. If anyone finds out who feels the need to make it public, our careers will be over, but honestly I’d rather have our careers be over in exchange for your love, than continue this game of fucking behind closed doors with ‘no feelings’, because I-” Soonyoung’s voice wavers a bit, “I fucking love you, Jihoon, please don’t be blinded by the shield you put in front of your emotions.”

Jihoon blinks, a few tears rolling down his own cheeks. Soonyoung has him shocked for the thousandth time that night. 

He stares at Soonyoung in awe, the older boy crying again by now as well. Soonyoung’s right. He has put this huge shield over his emotions, he always has. It’s something he does by nature, in fear of being fragile, in fear of trusting others when really the only person Jihoon can trust in this world is himself. He doesn’t allow himself to love, he doesn’t allow himself to share feelings with other people around him and put all of his trust in their hands.

And now Soonyoung’s here, opening every little inch of his heart for Jihoon to see. He’s making himself so fragile, willing to trust Jihoon with his emotions even though he knows he’s playing with fire, playing with the oh-so dangerous knives. Jihoon envies that, the way Soonyoung can just be so open about everything. He was right about what he said earlier.

Jihoon should stop being such a coward.

“Allow yourself to love, Jihoon,” Soonyoung whispers, wiping more tears from his eyes and stepping a little closer.

Be brave.

Jihoon rushes forwards, grabbing the back of Soonyoung’s neck and pulling it down aggressively to let their lips meet. 

Though the movement started off as forceful and aggressive, the kiss ends up being passionate and caring, their lips moving in sync. Soonyoung’s arms wrap around Jihoon’s waist, pulling his body closer.

They’ve kissed many times before, yet this one feels so different. It’s burning with love and fear, a dangerous combination of emotions if played wrong.

But god, does it feel right.

“Fuck, I love you,” Jihoon mumbles against Soonyoung’s lips, using one hand to tug at the tiny strands of his hair. It’s as if Soonyoung’s words triggered some sort of deactivate button on the shield Jihoon used to block out his emotions, and only now is he able to finally wrap his mind around the fact that he’s absolutely, madly in love with Kwon Soonyoung, his bandmate and leader of the performance unit.

Soonyoung smiles against the shorter’s lips and lets his tongue meet up with Jihoon’s, carefully pouring all of his love out.

“You better mean it, you ass.”

 

Loving is like jumping off a cliff, blindly trusting that the other person will be there to catch you and not just yell words of encouragement from the bottom to watch you hit the ground. It’s a dangerous thing to do, even more when there are a lot of other things at stake.

They don’t know where they will end up, what kind of consequences this will have for them, all they know is that they’re willing to jump, hoping that they don’t jump at the same time with no one to catch them at all.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic on here pls don't be too rough i am young and innocent :^)
> 
> also suppose i cant say "jisoos cleanse my soul" anymore since he laughed at an ass eating joke, oh well


End file.
